Tough Times for Nana

This blog is hard for me to write. But I've decided it's necessary, as part of my healing process. I'm not going to post it on facebook or email it to anyone. If someone comes across it, that's fine. But it's personal, and since I'm documenting "my" journey with Charleston, it needs to be here.

I broke.

I was diagnosed with "caregiver depression" this summer. It has nothing to do with SMA or my Charleston. The way it was explained to me is that I didn't take care of myself emotionally because I didn't think I was important enough.

In retrospect, I've never taken care of myself when it comes to emotions. I'm a cryer, that's for sure. And I definitely show my emotions. But as far as nurturing them, nada. I take care of and nurture everybody else, but not me.

So I broke.

The good news is......I'm recovering. It's a hard battle, one that I hope I never have to experience again. It's no fun. I turned into someone I didn't know, someone I didn't want to be, someone I didn't recognize. But I got help.

I've always been "the strong one." I discovered that I do have a limit, and I reached it.

But I broke, and I wish I never had.